Already got asked if we're dating
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
