He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Welp...herpes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize