WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
