Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
