its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
