I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
