I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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