My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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