Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
