I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The air was thick with penises
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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