Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
