I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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