Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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