Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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