ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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