You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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