see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
