I hope mine doesn't look like that
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
