Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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