Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
