I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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