It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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