I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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