im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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