I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
