K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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