Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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