Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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