I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
