She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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