When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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