I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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