"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Panties = found
Randomize
