K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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