State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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