STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
