so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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