I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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