she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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