How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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