Kiss
Puke
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
