I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize