Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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