I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
