its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
