4 words: hood of his car
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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