Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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