what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
