I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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