When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
