What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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