Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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