what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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