The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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