even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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