why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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