i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
