you would pick up someone in the library
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
