At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ketchup is God's man juice
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
