I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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