We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
