i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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