How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
