I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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