sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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