omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
