You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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