i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
