Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
