fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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