she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Randomize
