I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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