This girl is more easily done than said...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
