Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
