I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
