This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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